How Do I Know When I’m In Love?

ImageAs humans, we’re ruled by our emotions. 

We more commonly react out of anger, pride, hatred or some other emotion, than act out of common sense or good planning. We buy pets, clothes and even houses because of how they make us feel. We choose our friends and our enemies with our hearts, not with our brains. We shop around for the religion that ‘feels’ right for us.

The Bible teaches that true love is not an emotion, but a decision. For example, we’re called not just to love those who love us, but even those who hate us, which requires self sacrifice and governing our emotions. 

So how can we know when we’re really in love – according to God’s standard?

Although love will make us ‘feel’ a certain way – usually tingly and excited – we must also stop and think. After the first feelings of our love fade, after a month or a year or even a decade, we must have something more solid to depend on, or else our marriage will disintegrate. A marriage based only on emotional love, without the foundations of God, sacrifice and common sense, won’t last. 

When determining whether we’re truly in love, we must ask:

1. Firstly, is the other person a Christian? While of course it’s possible for a Christian to fall in love with a non-Christian, we should be very wary of doing so as God commands that we don’t marry a non-believer. If we do fall in love with a non-Christian, we must either commit to praying and seeking their salvation before we marry them, or else end the relationship.

2. If the other person is a Christian and there’s definite attraction between us, we must assess whether we’re willing to put them and their needs above everyone and everything else (after God). Love requires us to sacrifice our own needs and inclinations for theirs on a daily basis.

3. Next, we need to assess whether we’re committed to investing our time and energy into the relationship. If we’re not, then we’re probably not really in love.

4. Finally, we need to ask ourselves if the other person is someone who we genuinely want to marry. Does the thought of spending the rest of our lives with him or her excite us? If we don’t foresee that the relationship will end in marriage, then there’s little point in continuing in it.

How can we know when we’re truly in love? If we:

• Feel like we’re in love

• Are prepared to sacrifice our own needs for the other person

• Are prepared to invest into the relationship

• Genuinely want to marry the other person

… then it’s likely that we’re in love according to God’s standard. 



3 thoughts on “How Do I Know When I’m In Love?

  1. What if you marry them, and then comes a day when you don’t have that “feeling” of love? Does that mean you should have not married them?
    I, for one, don’t think so…I think that’s why there are so many, many divorces these days. People say they just don’t love their partner anymore, when really all they’ve lost is the feeling of romance and newness.
    But love is a verb.

    1. just like the 4 letters that spell the word LOVE, love is not just about the letter L, which is love, there’s still 3 letters left that need to be comprehended. It’s not just about LOVE why people fail with their marriages, its about feelings that unite two people together. NEVER ever lost that tender feelings…

    2. LOVE is a four letter word, and each letter represents meanings that we should all recognized. LOVE is not LOVE without acceptance and respect. Personally, I belong in the third sex society, its hard to find true LOVE in the state I am in. I oftentimes find myself always trying too hard. So, if you ask me about LOVE, then LOVE for me is never been enough.

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