I miss him so much than I can express.

ImageI do not like to become pessimist about love. I never wish to lose my faith in love. But there are moment where I just prefer to pierce love, toss it in the central point of the street, and run it finished with my car.

Okay fine, this sounds dramatic… anyhow

It has been almost two years since I last saw Mr. F****.  About two years since he disclose by saying that he is no longer in love with me. Almost two years since he broke my into tidbits and crushed the dreams we planned together. Almost two years since I felt his limb around me. Almost two years since I experienced his lips on mine for the very last time.

I miss him. I miss him so much than I can express.


15 thoughts on “I miss him so much than I can express.

  1. I do not know what this feels like personally, but definite anguish can clearly be felt through these words. Excellent post. I oppose love in my own life, always been the enemy of it. The love of friendship, is another thing, and that I value more than anything. But to love in this way, another, I don’t think I’ll ever be so strong. I think it was lao tzu that said, “to love is courageous”, yes, that it is. It takes great strength and courage indeed. I am inspired by the strength and courage here in this post. Excellent entry.

    Autumn Jade

    1. loving is like you are borrowing the slippers of the one you love and walking into his life without even thinking if his still a stranger to you… Thus as what I personally believe ” LOVING is short forgetting is too long” Thanks for the comments its nice to hear you sharing all your sentiments about LOVE.

      1. Your words are beautiful. They entrance me. I imagine love is a very exquisite and fantastic, intoxicating thing, indeed. Perhaps I come at least a little close to feeling that way when I am in the sea. I dream of sharks and waves, think of the sea when I am away, and when I am out there in the waves, I feel as if I become a part of the ocean, we converge as one, and there is no greater euphoria than that feeling- I forget everything else. I pursue that feeling incessantly. And to swim right alongside a shark….that is the ultimate euphoria, indeed. I want to devote my life to the sea, to nature. Perhaps that passion is a little like being in love. It is the closest I will ever come, and I am very content with that, it is what I choose. Right now, I hear the waves beyond as I type this, and crave them, wishing I was out there right now.

        I am sure you will again feel this Love deeply, someone truly majestic. Your words and sentiments are profound. Thank you for sharing with me, and also enduring my babbling, haha. Many ebullient cheers to you,

        Autumn Jade

      2. Love is not like the ice that once heated it melts and turn into liquid. Just an additional thing to say… What hurt about LOVE is the feeling of knowing that LOVE is not there anymore, and there’s nothing for you to do for it continues to fly away. Thanks for the Comments.

      3. Such as it felt when me mum died, and I still cry at night in the wee hours, missing her tremendously, and it has been five years now. But I also delight ever moment during the day the times we had. I can see so much of her in the beauty around me. I love to remember all the wonderful times we had, and am so grateful I have them to reflect upon. The pain and grief even has become strangely beautiful to me now, as well, even when I am crying. The love we had is never dead to me, I keep it alive. There is another kind of grief I suffer with my older brother, who does not love me anymore….he has chosen a very dark path in life, of which I cannot follow beside him. I grieve because he is not who he once was….I mourn for the brother I once had, and will always love him. Still, I am grateful I knew him then, and for all those things I have seen in him that others may never know now….I love to highlight those wonderful times. Well, I really must go now, you seem to bring out the babbler in me, sorry to go on and on. Thinking of you and hope that day by day, the pain will lessen for you. So sorry you are in such agony 😦 Hugs,

        Autumn Jade

  2. i feel like a bomb exploding for a moment. I am still searching for the bullets to be shot inside my head. So lucky I am, I found one through reading your comments… To that, I say I am not ready to sail on the wide ocean that you are saying, for I have been found the perfect fish to catch, and thus he leaves me with such pain in the heart… Yes! The Catcher Is ME…

  3. I think that you never forget true loves, and that a part of them always stays in your heart, but…
    as long as we are willing to risk love, and love greatly we can find it again. Good luck.

    1. I was empty when he left, I guess its really true ” the more you keep yourself close to someone you love the more the pain when its parting time” I am not yet over and I still don’t know how far I’m gonna hope and expect that things don’t just happen this way. I love him more now that his gone.

      1. true it is always pain, and love always risks that. It is always so much more expensive in the “love capital” to start a new investment when it is comforting to continue to hold on to the bad investment.

      2. and that’s not find anymore…Thanks you are right. But I think it is a part of the nature, you go gambling without expecting that you can double/triple your earning.

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